When Doctors Say ‘Everything Looks Fine’—But You Know Something’s Off

Aug 15

“It’s just a normal part of aging.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. It was like her doctor was dismissing her - it was “normal” to forget your friends’ names. It was “normal” to feel like everyday tasks were getting harder. It was “normal” to get lost on the road she took every day to work.

It took a lot of courage to make that appointment. She wanted to talk to someone with expertise to tell them something was off, and this was the response she got…From the doctor she had trusted for years.

I hear so many stories like this. Why does this happen? Why do we experience so much self-doubt when we are vulnerable and know something is off in our bodies.

Even if you feel your doctor is waving you off - it doesn’t mean nothing is wrong.

But, what is happening? Why do I feel dismissed?

We’re up against a healthcare system that’s designed to treat illness - often with medication - not necessarily to cultivate optimal health. Medical testing is standardized and your appointment time is limited.

Not all symptoms show up on standard tests. Bloodwork ranges are a perfect example of this. When your doctor says your bloodwork is “within normal range,” it simply means your numbers fall between the upper and lower limits that the lab considers typical for the general population.

Here’s the problem…

Lab ranges are based on averages, not optimal health. These reference ranges are often created by looking at a broad population—which can include people who aren’t in great health. Being “normal” on paper doesn’t necessarily mean you’re functioning at your personal best.

Results don’t account for individual differences. What’s normal for one person may not be normal for you. If you’ve been feeling off—fatigued, moody, foggy, or just “not yourself”—your body might be telling you something that standard bloodwork can’t fully capture.

Also, lab results often miss functional issues. Blood tests can show whether your body meets baseline survival needs, but they don’t always reflect how well your body is functioning day-to-day, especially in areas like energy, digestion, mental clarity, and resilience to stress.

You’re up against the clock…

In today’s healthcare system, most primary care appointments last 10–15 minutes. That’s barely enough time for a quick greeting, a review of your chart, and a discussion of your most pressing concern—let alone a deep dive into subtle symptoms, lifestyle factors, and early warning signs.

This time pressure means only the headline symptoms get attention and you may leave out important details. Thus, providers must rely heavily on lab results. When there’s no time for thorough questioning or observation, doctors often lean on bloodwork or imaging to confirm a diagnosis. But as we know, normal test results don’t always mean optimal health.

It’s not that doctors don’t care—they’re working within a system that demands speed and efficiency. Unfortunately, this model can miss early-stage conditions, nuanced health issues, or problems that develop over time.

Well-being is hard to measure. Take cognitive decline—unless there’s significant damage, it may not show up on basic tests, especially without prior baselines. Even well-intentioned providers can’t diagnose what current tools can’t detect.

Doctors are trained to rule out immediate danger. Before symptoms escalate into something more serious, coaching can help you focus on advocating for your well-being and optimizing your daily function.

Just because you’re not “sick” doesn’t mean you’re at your healthiest - Trust your gut!

This patient knew she was struggling, that something was off. She had gone to her provider for answers, and left feeling defeated. Want to know what happened? Ultimately, she went back and asked for further testing. She then sought a second opinion, and is now getting answers and following a treatment plan! If she hadn't advocated for herself, she would quietly be suffering today.

You are the expert on your body. You know what feels normal, and what doesn’t. Don’t get pushed through the healthcare system, following instructions without question, feeling hesitant to speak up or challenge the advice you receive. Health is not simply a result of “bad genes” or “aging.” It is so much more, and you have choices you can make for your own quality of life.

Also, questioning your doctor is not a sign of disrespect. Advocating for ourselves in healthcare is one of the most important things we can do.

On my own health journey, I always come prepared with questions about lifestyle factors that could impact my health. I want to understand how my diet, exercise, and daily habits play a role in my overall well-being, and I see each appointment as an opportunity to learn from those who understand the body deeply.

Some doctors, however, wave off lifestyle factors as unimportant. To me, that’s a clear sign of who is truly on my team—and who isn’t. I’ve changed doctors more than once for this very reason. If they’re not open to these conversations, they’re not the right fit for me. You have every right to do the same. You deserve a provider who is open-minded and willing to explore all aspects of your health.

You are the lead of your healthcare team! Coaching can help!

When you know something is off, don’t leave it to memory—document your symptoms in detail and come prepared with targeted questions. Visit my contact page and send me a quick message with “Send the Doctor’s Visit Checklist” to get my free guide for preparing for your next appointment.

Coaching can help support you in the “in between” spaces of healthcare. I am here because I believe your symptoms are real, and you are wildly capable and worthy of change. I can support you in making small, consistent lifestyle changes while you continue to seek answers. I can also help you build confidence in your own self-advocacy, making coaching a powerful complement to your healthcare team!